?

Log in

 

Not All Scars Show...

About Recent Entries

I am a whore I do confess, I put you on just like a wedding dress May. 2nd, 2007 @ 12:10 am
So I havent done this in a while but I figured I was much less suicidal when I did write in here, so here it goes....

Maybe its PMS, but I just want to get married really bad. I want to grow up and have a family, have a job and be independent... but I want a guy that wants that too. I guess its near impossible to find a guy my age that actually wants to settle down and start a family... most of them are too worried about how many friends they have, how much the can bench and what guys they're goin to basketball with next.

Im finally getting to the point in my life where I want to be something more then what I used to be. For so long, even as a christian, I have lived under the shadow of the person that I used to be and I dont want to do that anymore. I want to create my own identity apart from other people that were or still are in my life. I guess this is kind of a shedding of the old skin and a putting on of the new... or I guess it could even be a putting off of the old life... I dont really know what Im supposed to be doing at this point in my life and I think thats was scares me: not having something to do, or not knowing what to do. So i try to make things for myself and hurry along the process to getting somewhere in my life where I actuallt do ahve things to do. But as I have seen from past crap, rushing things only creates more problems... but whatever Im going to bed. night everyone.
Current Mood: crushedcrushed

wishing he cared.... Jan. 23rd, 2007 @ 06:41 pm
Lately it seems that anything and everything that could come between Lee and I is doing just that. He wants to be able to work and nap and spend time with his friends while we're at school and that doesnt sit well with me because it seems to take away time that he and I could spend together. Today all that we did was go to class together, run by the clab and eat at the hanger for a few minutes. We hugged once today and didnt ever hold hands. Thats not what a couple should be. Im getting a little ahead of myself. So basically since he wants time to have friends and swears that me and him will still have time together, I figure that maybe I should do some thing to meet new people. When I did, it jsut so happened that they were guys. I had lunch with one and them today and some of his friends and Lee is throwing a fit about it. I jsut dont make girl friends very easily.... and I hate being alone. (although no matter what I do I seem to end up that way)
I think I have tried so hard to understand him and how he works, what he needs from me and what he just wants... and I found a way for him to do the same for me. Hes had the opportunity since the middle of november and still hasnt taken it. He just doesnt really seem to care very much anymore. I jsut dont want to be near him anymore. So I figured that in philosophy class he would be able to learn more abotu me and how I think. Maybe he would understand a little bit more about why Im so critical and why everything has to be logical.... but no, all he does is make it about him and how I shouldnt call him stupid because he thinks "differently." And maybe Im trying to make it all about me when it shouldnt be, but I jsut wish he cared....

I havent done this in a while Jan. 14th, 2007 @ 10:28 pm
I dont know what to say. I didnt know him all that well, and I dont even know what happened but I cant help but be mad. I reallly just want to hurt whoever's fault it is. They have hurt so many people in what they have done, and that is whats hurting me. I dont know what to do to confort Lee and I dont know what to tell BB to do for Kyle, b/c he was even closer to him. He was my age... with a full life ahead of him. Why did this have to happen to him? I dont know if we'll be going to the funeral. In one way I think that it would be good to go and for Lee to be around other people who knew him better then me... but in another way I would feel out of place...

What if this had happened to Mackey? What if that were him that had died? I dont know what Id do... it makes me hate drugs... it makes me hate people.... "hes in a better place".... I wish I were there too

Grieving for the 46 Million Lost Lives Aug. 29th, 2005 @ 05:41 pm
"Pro-Life Memorial Day recalls massive loss of innocent life in America

It's the unspoken American Holocaust. Since January 22, 1973, more than 46 million unborn babies have been aborted. To put the striking number in further perspective, that's one baby every 24 seconds over the course of 32 years. For every two babies born, one is surgically aborted.

Because this mass slaughter is often swept under the rug by the nation's mainstream media, a national pro-life organization has determined to set up an annual day of remembrance in order to pay tribute [to] those who had no choice in life.

The Washington D.C.-based American Life League (ALL) has established the first ever Pro-life Memorial Day, which will be observed on Monday, October 3 of this year, and subsequently on the first Monday of every October.

ALL is encouraging pro-life members from across the nation to participate in this important campaign to honor the 46 million innocent lives lost to surgical abortion since the Supreme Court's 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling the decriminalized the killing of innocent preborn children.

HOW TO PARTICIPATE

Readers are encouraged to get the word out on the first annual Pro-life Memorial Day. Pastors are encouraged ro promote this event in their churches, as well. Individuals can plaster schools and churches and business with flyers and posters promoting the day.

In addition, a petition to President Bush to officially recognize the first Monday of October as National Pro-life Memorial Day has been established.

The petition can be found at: http://www.all.org/hp9.htm/

Readers are encouraged to print it off, sign it and retuen it to ALL, which will present them to the White House. In addition, urge pro-life friends and family members to sign and return petitions, in order to achieve a great impact.

ALL has also created an official Pro-life Memorial Day T-shirt that beautifully expresss the sentiment for the day. The front of the shirt reads: "The cross we all bear - abortion kills a baby every 24 seconds." The back reads: "46,000,000 babies killed, 1973-2005."

The T-shirts can be purchased at the ALL website (http://www.all.org) or the Rock For Life website (http://www.rockforlife.org). Organizers hope to see millions of shirts worn across the nation October 3.

National Liberty Journal fully supports this effort to honor the 46 million innocent Americans who never had the opportunity to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We will update this event in the months to come."

Courtesy of Jerry Falwell's National Liberty Journal http:///www.nljournalonline.com

You guys, please do all that you can to get the word out about October 3. There is strength in numbers.

I am REALLY BORED!!! Aug. 22nd, 2005 @ 04:58 pm
Light element
Your element is Light. Your heart is pure and
shining with love. You believe in the goodness
of those around you and give almost everyone a
smile. You are not the kind to hide your
happiness and tend to smile all day long, both
in and out. But when sadness hits you, you
become very devastated and may be upset for
quite some time. What you need in your life is
friends, friends who will love you
unconditionally, like you love them. But you
have a naive nature and don't always notice
when someone is trying to hurt you. Some would
say you are oblivious to mean people, which
makes you an easy target. However, your true
friends will probably be there for you and save
you. In school you are either the popular one
or the little weird one. It all depends if
"the higher people" find your caring
side irritating or not. Nevertheless, you have
a bubbly personality and are social. Big partys
may not be your thing since you want bonding
time with your friends, so slumber-partys fit
you more. You like the happy things in life and
like everyone else to be as happy as you are.
Rate and message!


What is your element? [with pics + detailed answeres]
brought to you by QuizillaHASH(0x8d451c4)
People see you as a quiet and shy person. Maybe you
just like to be alone. Or maybe you're secretly
longing for some more interaction. YOu're a
really caring person on the inside and don't
ever want to hurt anyone. Sometimes you can
tend to put others before yourself. You're shy
and just want to fit in. Some people may just
be intimidated to talk to the "quiet
kid" so don't let your fears get in the
way of making friends. But don't try to be
someone else either. Some people may admire you
for being so quiet and appearing so collected.
There are lots of shy people in the world.
Don't let yourself fade away. You're worried
about getting hurt, but don't be so untrusting.


What do people see in you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Other entries
» Terrified
I am the most terrified I have ever been in my entire life.
» Aeroszeppelin
Whats a season in a right
If you cant have anything
Whats the reason in a rhyme
If a plan measn anything
Whats the meaning in a crime
Its a fan if anything
Wheres a leaning in a line
Its a brand, its a brand

How a culture comes again
It was all here yesturday
And you swear its not a trend
Doesnt matter anyways
They're only here to talk to friends
Noting new is everyday
You could s*** upon the stage they'll be fans
If you brand, if you brand, if you brand

All the kids will eat it up
If its packaged properly
Steal a sound and imitate
Keep a format equally
Not an ode
Just the facts
Where our world is nowadays
An idea is what we lack
It doesnt matter anyways

~Kurt Cobain

OK NE way, Chrissy let me borrow her book and I love that song/poem he wrote, its awesome, if I do say so myself.

SO... I registered for my college courses today... Im takin some RANDOM stuff! On Mondays and Weds I have Expository Writing then General Psychology then General Anthropology... and on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have Introduction to Ethics. LOL. I love it! So ne way, went to Leighton's show Tuesday night and it was AWESOME, I took some mad cool pics if you wanna go check em out.... http://photobucket.com/albums/v213/shortandsweet0o0/Yet%20Another%20Prayer/ So yeah, ne ways hope you like them!
» Love is a movement
OK... so, I've already named my future kids... hehe! Tell me what you think.

~David Lee Cramer ||| I just want to name one after Lee (But Im not fond of the name David, so we'd prolly call him DJ)

~David Landon Cramer ||| If we dont use David Lee, and we'd call him Landon (Cuz I love that name)

~Evan Lee Cramer ||| If we dont use David Lee, and I love the name Evan

~For a girls name I like the name Elle.... but I cant find a name that fits with it... middle, or first. So help me if you have ne ideas! :)
» A Breakdown Must Be Near
Ok, so the past few days have been amazing, up until now, and the dumbest things are gettin to me. Mackey is back in town, and I thought it would be great when he came back, but we've argued about 3 times already and he called a bitch. And for some reason it hurt. His opinion actually mattered to me. And the way he said it.... "why are you such a bitch?" I mean honestly. Does anyone else think I am? Especially lately, I have been nothing but nice to everyone. I wrote a nice note back to lexie after she wrote a letter to MY boyfriend, and I apologized to Cody, and Seth and me and Shaina are talking again, I mean, I am gettin along with alot of people now. But for some reason, him not gettin along with me brings ack old memories of how horrible he made me feel about myself, and it still hurts. I dunno, I dont think I still care about him in ne way, except that I'd hate to see him mess up his life again, but I dont think I am one, so I'm not gonna let it get to me.

AND now.... this girl who is best friends with Lee's little sister, who is also a little bit of a girl who kinda throws herself at guys, is sleeping in my boyfriend's bed tonight. She just walked in the house, called to tell him to buy her a toothbrush because she forgot hers and went and layed in his room. That was just the icing on the cake, I mean if some over-hormoned teenager took it upon herself to sleep in your boyfriends bed wouldnt you be a bit ticked off??????????? And his parents arent doing ne thing about it, and I hate it. For some reason, that sux even more then ne thing else, to know that some 13 yr old gets to sleep in my b/f's bed. Not that I want to be there in THAT way, ya know, but if I spent the night there with Ashley, I couldnt do that even he did sleep downstairs. UGH! I hate things right now. And I havent been ale to stop crying for about an hour now. GRRR!
» Here You Go Lauren
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

This is Mr Deep Voice
Top of Page Powered by LiveJournal.com